Straight Face, Straight Face
Ooomba Ooomba Oom Pa Pa!

Now I Went To My Apartment
On A Monday At One
Singing, Do Lolly Lolly, Shicky Bum, Shicky Bum
Started Moving In And On A Tuesday At Two
Singing, Do Lolly Lolly, Shicky Do, Shicky Do
Wednesday At Three
I Called The Phone Company, Singing
"Hey Baby, Put A Phone In For Me" Oooh
Thursday At Four
He Came A-Knocking At My Door, Singing

Hey, Baby, I'm Your Telephone Man
If You Show Me Where You Want It And I'll Put It Where I Can
I Can Put It In The Bedroom
I Can Put It In The Hall
I Can Put It In The Bathroom
I Can Hang It On The Wall
You Can Have It With A Buzz
You Can Have It With A Ring
And If You Really Want It, You Can Have A Ding-A-Ling
Because, Hey Baby, I'm Your Telephone Man

My Heart Began A-Thumping
And My Mind Began To Fly
And I Knew I Wasn't Dealing With No Ordinary Guy
So While He Was A-Talking
I Was Making Up My Plan
Then My Fingers Did The Walking On The Telephone Man

Singin' Hey Lolly Lolly, Hey Lolly Lolly
Hey Lolly Lolly
Get It Any Way You Can

I Got It In The Bedroom
And I Got It In The Hall
I Got It In The Bathroom
And He Hung It On The Wall
I Got It With A Buzz
And I Got It With A Ring
And When He Told Me What My Number Was
I Got A Ding-A-Ling

Singin' Hey Lolly Lolly
Hey Lolly Lolly
Hey Lolly Lolly
Just Doing My Thing

Anyway…

Now He’s Plugging In My Modem
But I Think I Need A Hand
I Hope My Port Is Wide Enough To Cope With His Broadband
He’s Buzzing On My Mobile
Now I’ll Never Be Alone
I Jump For Joy Each Time I Hear The Telephone’s Ringtone

Hey, Baby, I'm Your Telephone Man
If You Show Me Where You Want It And I'll Put It Where I Can
I Can Put It In The Bedroom
I Can Put It In The Hall
I Can Put It In The Bathroom
I Can Hang It On The Wall
You Can Have It With A Buzz
You Can Have It With A Ring
And If You Really Want It, You Can Have A Ding-A-Ling
Because, Hey Baby, I'm Your Telephone Man

Boomba!